I’m sure this humorous list would be recogized by folks across the midwest, not just those in Kansas.
But then I’m originally from Kansas, so what do I know?
23 Sep. 2004
the link above is broken, but thanks to the Wayback machine, I’ve recovered a copy and posted it in the extended entry area of this post.
You Know You’re from KANSAS if…
1. You’ve never met any celebrity or presidential candidates.
2. A traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You’ve seen all the biggest bands but ten years AFTER they were popular.
4. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun, or Six
5. You pronounce Arkansas differently when speaking of the state or river.
6. Down south means Oklahoma.
7. The phrase "I’m going to "The Lake" this weekend" only means
8. You know several people who have hit a deer.
9. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
10 Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.
11. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
12. You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
13. You’ve ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
14. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
15. You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July.
16. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
17. You see a car running in the parking lot with no one in it no matter what time of the
18. You know in your heart that KState can beat Oklahoma in football.
19. You end sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:"Where’s my coat
20. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
21. You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.
22. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad.
23. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.
24. You went to skating parties as a kid.
25. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
26. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
27. You think sexy lingerie is white tube socks and a flannel shirt.
28. You’ll pay for your kids to go to college… unless they want to go to OU.
29. You think that opening day of the deer season is a national holiday.
30. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles.
31. You like sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
32. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
33. You’ve ever said, "It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity."
34. Your earliest driving lessons were in a field while picking up hay.
35. You’re totally unfazed by a squadron of B1 bombers flying overhead.
36. You failed geography because you only thought Peru, Havana, Manhattan, Kansas City,
Pittsburg, and Cuba were cities in Kansas.
37. Everyone in your family has been on a "float trip" before.
38. You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping, and look forward to it
39. You don’t have to ask, "What’s a Jayhawk?"
40. You know the words to "Home on the Range."
41. You really do think Sunflowers are beautiful.
42. Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
43. You can see the grain elevator in the next town, which is 20 miles away.
44. There’s a tornado warning and everyone goes outside to watch, some with camcorders.
45. You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
46. Using the elevator involves a wheat truck.
47. Your excuse for being late is the cows got out, and the boss accepts it
48. You can tell it’s a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.
49. You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn, while still on the stalk.
Submitted by Troy Hultgren, Osage City Fire Dept.